by Evelyn Lafont
Kindle Edition
Hereward
L.M. Proops
I
bought this book on a whim. Perhaps it was the title? Maybe it was the fact
that I'm currently devouring (no pun intended) as much zombie-related fiction
as possible in anticipation of the upcoming re-release of the novelisation of
George A. Romero's “Dawn of the Dead”. Perhaps it was the fact that this sweet
little novella has not yet been shown much love on Amazon's UK website and I
had a good feeling when I read its tag line “Not everyone who survives the
zombie apocalypse should”.
Sorry...
did I call “Are We Still On For Tonight” sweet? That should have read “brutal”.
Evelyn
Lafont's little novella is a first for me. I've seen countless novels of the
zombie apocalypse before. I've seen zombie survival guides, novels told from
the point of view of the zombies, even seen Jane Austen's world overrun by the
undead. “Are We Still On For Tonight?” is chick-lit with zombies.
The
novella's central character, thirty year old Rachel Finnikin, is one of the
least likeable characters I've seen since Tom Cruise's Maverick in “Top Gun”.
She's vacuous, utterly self-absorbed and unashamedly materialistic. Her total
lack of self-awareness, mean-spirited nature and blinkered world-view also
means that she provides the book with an enormously funny narrative voice. When
the zombie apocalypse kicks off, triggered by a toxic gas spread by an unnamed
foreign power, Rachel is less concerned with the survival of the human race
than the possibility that her dream-date with a good-looking doctor is going to
be cancelled.
With
an utter disregard for anything and anyone who gets in her way, the repellent
Rachel embarks on a cross-town journey to the restaurant where she hopes her
date is waiting for her. Funnily enough, her determination to bag herself an
ideal husband gives her the inner strength and resourcefulness to stay alive in
a city overrun by the living dead. She proves surprisingly adept at killing
zombies with whatever tools are close to hand, whether they be letter openers,
umbrellas or works of modern art. Rachel also discovers that there are advantages
to a zombie apocalypse too. There are no queues in the museum and she can go
shopping in all the best stores without spending a penny. Indeed, her shopping
spree midway through the story is one of its funniest moments as she gushes
enthusiastically about her new shoes and clothes without once wondering whether
there will be anybody left alive to see them.
Of
course, a zombie apocalypse wouldn't be a zombie apocalypse without lashings
and lashings of gore and “Are We Still On For Tonight?” has an abundance of the
red stuff. Rachel describes the horrific slaughter of her co-workers with a
pretty dispassionate tone but she goes totally ballistic when she gets some
blood on her high heels. It's the incongruity of Rachel complaining about a
broken nail whilst stabbing an ex-colleague through the eye socket with an
umbrella that makes this novel so laugh out loud funny.
Any
complaints? Well, just one. It's too damn short. At less than 17,000 words, “Are
We Still On For Tonight” is more of a novelette than a novella and readers
should be aware of this when purchasing from the Kindle store. I could quite
happily have read a lot more of Rachel's adventures and whilst the ending made
me nearly drop my Kindle because I was laughing so hard, I couldn't help but
feel that her character could be taken on a more satisfying character arc in a
longer story.
Despite
its brevity, “Are We Still On For Tonight” is tremendous fun. Laugh-out-loud
funny, shockingly violent and very, very silly. It won't last long, but fans of
splatter-horror, zombies and luxurious camel-coloured Donna Karan cashmere
leggings are guaranteed to be heartily entertained.
Hereward
L.M. Proops
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